FOURTH CURSE: video

[cawsforalarm]

[When the video turns on, viewers are presented with a Henry surrounded by leaves, with the summer sun peeking in through the branches -- seems he's decided to climb a tree for this broadcast, or maybe he was just chilling here anyway. In either case, the expression on his face is uncharacteristically somber.]

Heya. So... this is going to be, like, Serious Business Time. [He glances off somewhere into the foliage. Honestly, it seems like he's not totally comfortable with the idea of Serious Business Time himself.] I've been kinda mulling stuff over, and I wanna hear all your responses! [The smile flickers back for a couple of seconds, but it's gone just as fast.]

What do you think makes someone a bad person? I mean, just for you, like I said. ...Traits or whatever are fine.

…

Yep.

[And that’s how the video ends.]

Comments

[text, private]

[cawsforalarm]

well. yeah. i mean, i wouldn't call them "realizations", more like... feelings that have kinda popped out of nowhere and i've never seen them before.

though i guess that counts as a realization.

yeah, i do care, NOW. but before a few weeks ago? not at all. like, "if me and my people are happy, then everyone else can die in a hole" not caring.

[And also literally putting people in holes, but he's too scared to put that in just yet.]

i guess i always knew i was missing something??? it was really obvious. but i didn't wanna deal with that, 'cause i thought i didn't need to. and now i think i do.

[text, private]

[samsa]

Did something happen, recently? You don't have to tell me what it is, if you don't want to.

[text, private]

[cawsforalarm]

well, if you mean "something" as in "did i do something bad", no. but i did kind of start to change my viewpoint on another thing that's only tangentially related to this, and everything sort of snowballed.

and now this post is a thing and there's really no going back anymore.

[text, private]

[samsa]

Well...talking about it helps. I'm sure you'll probably get a lot of different opinions about this, too.

But I guess I should ask...does this mean you want to try to change yourself even more?

[text, private]

[cawsforalarm]

yeah. i thought it'd be best to just ask everyone and then kind of compare/contrast, you know. so hey, thanks for replying.

and... sort of? i mean i'm also getting steadily more nervous because i knew this was gonna be a big, complicated, scary thing. but that still didn't prepare me for it.

but i'm still gonna give it a shot.

[text, private]

[samsa]

Oh...you're welcome. That's a good idea. That way, you can look at what everyone has to say about it and make your own judgements.

Yeah, it's not a change that's going to happen in a day. Probably not even in a month or two. But the important thing is that you're going to try.

[text, private]

[cawsforalarm]

is there anything particular that i have to do? or is it one of those "keep thinking about it and it just kinda happens" type of things?

you seem like you know a lot about this stuff.

[text, private]

[samsa]

[...oh, wow, um. He actually...doesn't know how to answer, at first. He really doesn't want to say the wrong thing, after all...]

No, I don't think so. It's something you'll probably have to work out on your own. Giving yourself time to think about it is a good place to start.

It's hard not to dwell on the past. Moving past it will take time too. But it sounds like you're on the right track.

[text, private]

[cawsforalarm]

here's hoping, i guess.

thanks again. you've been really... good about this? i guess? i kind of expected people to be like OH GODS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

and that hasn't happened yet!

[text, private]

[samsa]

That's probably because you're far from the first person to wonder about this sort of thing. And you won't be the last. I know it's crossed my mind before.

It's hard to talk about, especially with someone you don't know very well...I think it's pretty brave of you to do to begin with.

[text, private]

[cawsforalarm]

you think? i dunno... for me it was more 'i have literally no idea what to do and i don't even care about people knowing at this point'.

but hey. bravery. maybe so.

[text, private]

[samsa]

Ah, well...there's always that too, I guess. At least there's always someone on the Network who will listen.

[text, private]

[cawsforalarm]

yeah. people do stuff like this every so often, so obviously there's gotta be a benefit to it. now i know what it is.

[text, private]

[samsa]

I hope it ends up helping you. You'll figure something out.